How to defuse conflicts early and avoid escalation.

Conflicts are a part of life – be it in the office, in a team, or in personal relationships. But while some conflicts resolve almost spontaneously, others escalate, leaving behind frustration, tension, or even long-term damage. Why does this happen? The answer often lies in how early and how skillfully we address them.

In the Tiroler Tageszeitung podcast “Good to know,” Proconsens.at Senior Partner Annette Behrendt explains why conflicts should be addressed early and which strategies managers can use to resolve them confidently.

Annette Behrendt: Conflicts should be resolved as quickly as possible.

Conflicts usually don't escalate suddenly. They are often the result of misunderstandings, unspoken expectations, or minor tensions that grow in intensity over time. By recognizing these signs early and acting proactively, we can not only resolve the immediate problem but also create better relationships and a stronger culture of trust in the long run.

Why address conflicts early?

A small conflict can be like a spark that, if left unchecked, grows into a fire over time. That's why it's crucial not to procrastinate but to address problems as early as possible.

How do you achieve this? By tuning into your counterpart and understanding what they really want:

"It helps to ask yourself early on: 'What does the other person want, and how can I meet their needs?'"

By adopting this approach, you can often defuse conflicts before they even develop into problems. However, this requires practice and a certain degree of sensitivity. It's especially helpful to actively listen and ask yourself, "What's behind the other person's words?" Often, the true cause of a conflict lies deeper, for example, in unclear roles or unmet needs.

A practical example: Imagine a team member suddenly seems irritable and less cooperative. The apparent source of conflict may be a discussion about deadlines, but the real cause could be overload or a feeling of underappreciation. Listening and asking questions early on can often quickly defuse the situation.

Practical tips for confident conflict resolution

How can you take concrete action? Here are three immediately actionable tips from the podcast:

1. Power posing for more self-confidence

If a difficult conversation is coming up, start with power posing. Two minutes is enough to change your posture and even your hormone levels:

“Two minutes of power posing can change not only your posture but also your hormone levels – and suddenly you appear completely different.”

This technique not only helps you appear more confident, but also reduces inner tension. Especially before conversations that are personally important to you, a confident demeanor can make all the difference.

2. Make clear statements

Vague phrases like "Perhaps we could..." or "Would it be possible that..." undermine your message. Instead, focus on clear, confident statements:

“I want the [period & pause].”

Especially in negotiations or critical discussions, a clear demeanor shows that you know what you want – and that creates respect.

3. Strengthen inner conviction

Persuasiveness begins with your inner attitude. Before you enter into a conversation, ask yourself: "Am I really 100% convinced of my position?" If your inner attitude is clear, you will automatically appear more confident.

Additional tip: Before a conversation, consider what potential objections your counterpart might have and prepare convincing arguments. This will give you confidence and strengthen your position.

Long-term conviction instead of escalation

Some people believe they can only persuade through volume or dominance. But the opposite is often true: In the long run, a quiet but confident persuasion has a more lasting effect.

“Self-confidence begins with the inner conviction: ‘I know I am worth more, and these are the reasons.’”

This doesn't mean you should abandon your interests—quite the opposite. But it does show that you'll be more successful in the long run if you present your point of view calmly and clearly, rather than overpowering others with aggression or loudness.

Another approach to long-term success: Learn to distinguish between positions and interests. A position ("I want to change this deadline") may seem non-negotiable, but the underlying interest ("I need more time for quality") can often be negotiated in a surprisingly solution-oriented manner.

Conclusion

Addressing conflicts early on requires courage and practice, but it's worth it. With small changes in communication—such as clear statements, conscious body language, and inner conviction—you too can confidently resolve conflicts and simultaneously gain the trust of those around you.

If you want to hear even more exciting tips and insights, be sure to tune in to the podcast episode “Good to Know.”

Click here for the podcast "Good to know" with Annette Behrendt: https://www.tt.com/artikel/30895907/wie-man-einen-konflikt-im-gespraech-loest-und-eine-eskalation-vermeidet