RECENTLY at the start of school – a conflict story from everyday life

Great is the new modesty, of course for the good of the children.

As parents, we only want the best for our children. Especially at the start of school. But is the best always the right thing? Investments in expensive, often unnecessary products are supposed to ensure the best possible start for children. But pressure to consume and excessive care can lead to conflict between parents and children. And to poor posture.

Great is the new modesty, of course for the good of the children.

They've been back on the streets for three weeks now, the monster bags: school bags so big that even a Sherpa would tip over backward.

I took a look inside such a monster at my nephew's house. Worksheets and notebooks only make up a small part. Most of it stays at school. But there are:

• The bento box for a healthy snack, which is exchanged at school for a pack of Kinder Penguins – fortunately, there are still parents who believe that chocolate-coated milk provides their daily dose of calcium.

  
  

• Then there's the indispensable 1-liter water bottle with Waterdrop flavors (around 50 euros, without Waterdrop, mind you, because you want to earn something later on), because the little ones could become dehydrated in those 4 hours or even drink from the school toilet tap.

  
  

• And the pencil case (what an antiquated expression) with three compartments, the size of a medium-sized woman's handbag. Why a first-grader needs a compass in there is beyond me.

  
  

• Rain cover of course from Paw Patrol, cuddly toy, scrapbook....

To prevent a school bag from putting pressure on the musculoskeletal system, the latest technology is needed. And that comes at a price. We'll probably only realize too late that we should introduce posture training as a compulsory subject in the future.

But that's not all. Have you noticed it too? As is customary for first-graders' first day of school, the proud parents send out photos of their children – we all took them. A lovely memory. What I notice, however, is that the bags are getting bigger and bigger, in many cases even towering over the children.

The SUVs of accompanying parents are also growing in size in line with global warming. Did you know that the BMW X3, for example, has grown by 18.6 cm in length over the last 15 years? Leaving a child on public transport is now considered neglect and punishable by not being invited to children's birthday parties.

So far, so good. But where is the conflict here? Let's leave the marginal issue of climate protection aside. Let's focus on the potential conflicts we could cause in children through excessive consumerism. Excessive expectations: Parents might expect their children to appreciate or use expensive and unnecessary items. However, children might feel that the focus is on consumption rather than on their actual needs.

Pressure and stress: Children may feel overwhelmed by the social and material expectations of their parents, which can lead to stress or rejection.

Defense against “overprotection”: Parents who take too many precautions (e.g., huge drinking bottles, accompanying children to school) could provoke resistance and rebellion in their children, who may feel restricted or monitored.

Social adjustment: Children may feel pressure to keep up with the consumption trends of their classmates, which could lead to frustration if they feel put in competitive situations by their parents.

Let's let children have their childhood. Learning will never be easier than during this phase. And let's not plunge them into conflict.

Conflict Barometer

People involved:	🧨
Escalation:	🧨
Relevance:	🧨🧨
Possible empathy:	🕊🕊
Solution options:	🕊🕊🕊
Achievable compromise:	🕊🕊

The Conflict Barometer is a non-scientific attempt to assess conflict situations. Depending on the severity, up to three sticks of dynamite or peace doves can be awarded.