RECENTLY in deep sleep – a conflict story from everyday life

Our lifestyles have been ruined by Mr. Bean and the Barbapapas. In a time before streaming services, public television stations offered bedtime treats. Do you remember what time it was on? Yes, 6:00 p.m. Social and economic changes are leading to changes in our habits. This also affects important aspects such as our sleeping habits. It's striking that, as studies show, we sleep an hour less today than we did in the early 1970s, and our sleep is more irregular. Flexible working hours and the constant availability of content, mostly on mobile devices, are leading to increased stress. But also to conflict, as today's episode shows.

Unsere Verhaltensweisen ändern sich und geben Anlass zu Konflikten.

Recently, about three months ago, toward the end of the school year, a family with two children was scheduled to visit. With a vague indication that they would be there in the afternoon, the family arrived toward evening, with the father carrying one of the children (8 years old) on his arm. The child was fast asleep.

In fact, it would not wake up for quite some time during the visit. What

The fact that the mother's words of rapture about the sleeping child elicited made me wonder why a child would sleep so deeply for such a long time in the middle of the day. The question promptly came from my mouth in the following phrase: "Is it normal for him to sleep so long? That certainly sounds like a sleep deficit to me."

I think it's my fault that I'm not particularly receptive to modern arguments about child-rearing. The answer, "The days are so long right now, you can't send your child to bed," actually prompted further questions for me: Does that mean that children in the northern district don't go to bed for five months in the summer? Do children in Finland even stay in bed during the winter months, and do people on the equator fall asleep faster? And who is "one" anyway? Aren't parents responsible for that?

I didn't ask those questions, of course. "Wimp," you'll say. Sorry, that's just not what we do in our society. So I ventured to suggest: "For that, we could use blackout blinds." "We already have them, they just don't work." At this point, I successfully stifled the discussion at an early stage, because I know that such sleep-inducing devices don't even exist in children's rooms that have mutated into play dens, but instead there are Lego sets worth the price of a small car.

It's these small clues that put us in our place. As a non-resident, you lack expertise; what's more, this constitutes an assumption of authority and leads directly into the depths of conflict. Where would we be if we were to address the possible causes of concentration problems and learning disabilities? Or even offer a healing solution to the widespread epidemic of parental burnout, according to which quality time for parents (with their children asleep) would recharge their batteries.

No, we'll keep that to ourselves. In fact, there would be nothing to gain from such a conflict. Except perhaps the realization that IKEA should discontinue blackout blinds. Perhaps mobile cribs are a more timely alternative? That way, we can always pull our sleeping little ones behind us. Oh no, they already exist. Perhaps you've already noticed them: the foldable handcarts that have recently clogged up public transport, restaurant entrances, and escalators. Perfect for transporting your little treasures' room, kitchen, and closet on wheels. Affordable starting at €500 in well-stocked retail stores for every parenting style, and of course online too.

Conflict Barometer

People involved:	🧨
Escalation:	🧨🧨
Relevance:	🧨
Possible empathy:	🕊
Solution options:	🕊🕊🕊
Achievable compromise:	🕊🕊

The Conflict Barometer is a non-scientific attempt to assess conflict situations. Depending on the severity, up to three sticks of dynamite or peace doves can be awarded.